Quitting is the easy part. What comes after is far worse than the pain you were in when you decided to quit.
When you quit you are looking for the immediate gratification of the pain stopping, looking for the feeling that you are done and don’t need to keep going on; and if feels good! It feels better than anything else; for about 30 min, but what comes next is far worse.
Your brain goes into overdrive. The questions start to come, what could I have done differently, or asked for help on, or just had some more patience. See quitting is often a permanent solution to a temporary problem. The mind or body is saying that you don’t deserve this, or that it is too hard, or why does this only happen to me. When in fact, it happens to everyone. The comfort zone is a strange thing. It allows you to exist and doesn’t want you to push further. When people get out of their comfort zone the first instinct is to quit; they say this is too hard. When in fact they haven’t figured out an alternative; many times this is just the beginning on the path to greatness.
As a headhunter, coach and athlete I have seen many people, including myself, quit something because it was too hard for the moment. When in reality it may be too hard for an hour, a day, a month, a year. But what most people don’t realize is that no matter how bad something is, it will always end. I can’t tell you how many people I have spoken with that have quit their jobs because their boss wasn’t nice to them, or that they didn’t feel like they were getting compensated enough, or that the work is too hard; but then go through the pain of trying to find another role and can’t. You know why, because people don’t want to hire quitters.
When you go on interview and the hiring manager asks you the reason you aren’t working what do you say? Think about it. There is always some excuse, but in reality it is because you didn’t endure. You are a quitter and that screws with your psyche. You no longer have an income, your identity is no longer intact and then you start realize what you had wasn’t that bad.
When you quit, you are no longer in control, you are on defense. When you are on defense you have lost your power, you become desperate and take a step back, rather than a step forward and settle for something that you wouldn’t normally settle for. Does it feel good to settle? Does it make you proud to say that you quit? When you look back on your previous role you begin to realize it wasn’t as bad as you made it out to be.
Think about how good you feel if had endured a hard battle, think about how proud you would feel if you outlasted your boss, your client, or your role. Right when you are about to quit, realize that many times, that glory is one more step away. Remember that it is always the darkest before the dawn!
Ken klubin@zrgpartners.com